Yeah I know the feeling. Are you a teacher?
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Good luck Edmann, it's on you to not fuck up. At least you aren't one of those bitches who blame everyone else for their issues.
I'm pretty good friends with a former addict. He's been sober for years and he still goes to AA meetings and has a sponsor (and I think he even is a sponsor for some people). I'd recommend going to some meetings. I'm sure it's a pride thing holding you back, but I say give it a go.
So, when are we all going to Gamblers Anonymous?