UFC 156

[Dr_Ngo]

Eh I was dead serious about my Aldo diss, but I'll roll with it.

Analyzing Jon Jones overrated competition.

Vitor Belfort - Jones almost got his arm snapped in half in the first round, by a middleweight with a broken hand.

Rashad Evans - A guy that has build a career out of laying on middle of the pack LHW fighters, and KO'ing a 50 year old Liddell.

Machida - Knocked the fuck out by Shogun and lost to Rampage. His only wins lately are KO'ing a 100 year old Randy, and then beating Bader (not a big achievement, even Tito did it).

Rampage - Lets look at his career post Hollywood. Lay n prayed by Rashad, GIFTED a decision over Machida, who cares about his win over Hamill, lost to Jones, lost to Bader (wtf?), and then loses to Glover. Jones got a Rampage on the decline.

Shogun - Took the belt from a Shogun whose had fifty knees surgeries.

Bader - Lost to Tito...enough said. Bum.

Matyushenko - Bum. that's 42 years old. . Looking at his wiki I don't recognize a single name this guy's beaten except Tim Boetsch (who's a middleweight). This guy is not a gatekeeper, he's like...parkinglotkeeper.

[Vandelay]

props out...I have an open parlay started with not lil nog by sub at -2495, will be adding not fitch by sub, not mccall by sub, as well as probably not edgar by sub depending on the line movement, and possibly not overeem by sub.

[poopoo333]

I'm gonna do Not Fitch ITD, not mccall ITD, not aldo by sub for sure, not little nog by sub

[poopoo333]

maybe parlay that with Volkmann.

[zY|]

Great stuff, guys.

I'm going for the gold.

Anderson Silva

Chris Leben - Pfft. When this red-haired circus clown isn't drunk, on painkillers, crying, or spritzing on Jason Thacker's bed, he's dropping decisions to Kalib "Running Man" Starnes.

Rich Franklin - Placeholder champ for the until-very-recently indescribably thin excuse for a MW division. Title run consists of fighters either over 40 years old or no longer living. 7-6 since facing fighters with Wiki pages.

Travis Lutter - Fat, pathetic, comeback-show-TUF-winner who can't even make weight for his title fight gift. Has 5 minutes of gas at best. Silva still ends first round mounted and eating punches.

Nate Marquardt - Gifted title shot on the back of scintillating decision wins over Dean Lister and Crafton Wallace. It's excused, because honestly, who else? The division is so bad. Former 80 time King of Pancrase, whatever that means. Lost Nick Diaz' Strikeforce title to a guy whose name I can't pronounce. Greased against Palhares. Kicked in face by Renzo.

Rich Franklin 2 - Gets another title shot because why not? After all he did beat up a ginger and bored Yushin Okami to death. Fight only notable because Rich gets knocked out twice in one fight in his home town. Second verse, same as the first.

Dan Henderson - Dan Right-Handerson has made a career out of losing title fights and looking pathetic in doing so. Why would this be any different? Given this fight inexplicably after coming off another undeserved title-fight loss. Last seen mounted and getting smashed by a guy with no knees or gas. Rumored to be 60+ years old.

James Irvin - Lost in X-arm.

Patrick Cote - Lost 2 more in a row after ridiculous title fight and cut from UFC. Silva danced away from him for 3 rounds and was lucky his knee blew out.

Thales Leites - Arguably worse fighter even than Cote, also cut immediately after losing first fight back after title shot. Propped up BJJ wizard; choked out by Matt "I talk about metaphysics so 14 year old girls think I'm cool" Horwich.

Forrest Griffin - Showcase fight. Slow, plodding TUF poster boy, hasn't beaten(arguable, too) anyone not named Tito since the Bush administration. Passing resemblance to Cro-Magnon man.

Demian Maia - Get flatlined by King of Pancrase off first thrown punch = recipe for title shot. I present the middleweight division. Still wins 2 pathetic rounds.

Chael Sonnen - Dominated for 23 minutes by Senor Chael P. "I did not tap out" mortage fraud, midget testicles "I have more submission losses than non-decision wins" Sonnen. Lucks out after the guy most known for throwing himself into submissions throws himself into a submission.

Vitor Belfort - Title shot for a guy with no fights in the division. Most known for being an athletic teenager beating up fat dudes in 1997. Known for quitting. Never come through in a big fight.

Yushin Okami - Made a name taking naps on top of bad MWs. Less stoppages than Chael Sonnen.

Chael Sonnen - Talked way into 2nd title shot, despite losing to gatekeeper Michael Bisping. Still dominantly wins first round, ending in mount.

Stephan Bonnar - Even clumsier and slower than Forrest. Lost to Mark Coleman this millenium.

Ok, that one was kinda tough.

[poopoo333]

Call me crazy, but here is a bold prediction:

Antonio Bigfoot Silva will beat Alistair Overeem.

However, if Ubereem shows up, Silva is fucking dead.

We'll see.

[zY|]

Call me crazy, but here is a bold prediction:

Antonio Bigfoot Silva will beat Alistair Overeem.

However, if Ubereem shows up, Silva is fucking dead.

We'll see.

I don't think it happens, although I wouldn't be shocked in the slightest. Overeem is sooo incredibly hittable when worried about takedowns. I thought Werdum was going to knock him out. Still, more likely, he hurts Bigfoot to the body with something disgusting and then breaks his gigantic jaw.

[Vandelay]

Great stuff, guys.

I'm going for the gold.

Anderson Silva

Chris Leben - Pfft. When this red-haired circus clown isn't drunk, on painkillers, crying, or spritzing on Jason Thacker's bed, he's dropping decisions to Kalib "Running Man" Starnes.

Rich Franklin - Placeholder champ for the until-very-recently indescribably thin excuse for a MW division. Title run consists of fighters either over 40 years old or no longer living. 7-6 since facing fighters with Wiki pages.

Travis Lutter - Fat, pathetic, comeback-show-TUF-winner who can't even make weight for his title fight gift. Has 5 minutes of gas at best. Silva still ends first round mounted and eating punches.

Nate Marquardt - Gifted title shot on the back of scintillating decision wins over Dean Lister and Crafton Wallace. It's excused, because honestly, who else? The division is so bad. Former 80 time King of Pancrase, whatever that means. Lost Nick Diaz' Strikeforce title to a guy whose name I can't pronounce. Greased against Palhares. Kicked in face by Renzo.

Rich Franklin 2 - Gets another title shot because why not? After all he did beat up a ginger and bored Yushin Okami to death. Fight only notable because Rich gets knocked out twice in one fight in his home town. Second verse, same as the first.

Dan Henderson - Dan Right-Handerson has made a career out of losing title fights and looking pathetic in doing so. Why would this be any different? Given this fight inexplicably after coming off another undeserved title-fight loss. Last seen mounted and getting smashed by a guy with no knees or gas. Rumored to be 60+ years old.

James Irvin - Lost in X-arm.

Patrick Cote - Lost 2 more in a row after ridiculous title fight and cut from UFC. Silva danced away from him for 3 rounds and was lucky his knee blew out.

Thales Leites - Arguably worse fighter even than Cote, also cut immediately after losing first fight back after title shot. Propped up BJJ wizard; choked out by Matt "I talk about metaphysics so 14 year old girls think I'm cool" Horwich.

Forrest Griffin - Showcase fight. Slow, plodding TUF poster boy, hasn't beaten(arguable, too) anyone not named Tito since the Bush administration. Passing resemblance to Cro-Magnon man.

Demian Maia - Get flatlined by King of Pancrase off first thrown punch = recipe for title shot. I present the middleweight division. Still wins 2 pathetic rounds.

Chael Sonnen - Dominated for 23 minutes by Senor Chael P. "I did not tap out" mortage fraud, midget testicles "I have more submission losses than non-decision wins" Sonnen. Lucks out after the guy most known for throwing himself into submissions throws himself into a submission.

Vitor Belfort - Title shot for a guy with no fights in the division. Most known for being an athletic teenager beating up fat dudes in 1997. Known for quitting. Never come through in a big fight.

Yushin Okami - Made a name taking naps on top of bad MWs. Less stoppages than Chael Sonnen.

Chael Sonnen - Talked way into 2nd title shot, despite losing to gatekeeper Michael Bisping. Still dominantly wins first round, ending in mount.

Stephan Bonnar - Even clumsier and slower than Forrest. Lost to Mark Coleman this millenium.

Ok, that one was kinda tough.

reeped and i wont even try and top this one.

[Mr. IWS]

This is a fun exercise.

Rashad Evans

Tito Ortiz - Lost this fight without the fence grab point deduction. Enough said.

Michael Bisping - Went life and death with and arguably lost to 185lb gatekeeper Bisping.

Chuck Liddell - Impressive KO of the aging legend, who subsequently goes and gets KOed 2 more times in a row, in quicker fashion, ultimately being KOed in 4 of his last 6 and losing 5 of his last 6, including a loss to the Queen of Mean, Keith Jardine.

Forrest Griffin - Knocks out an overachieving Forrest Griffin to win the title after soundly losing the first 2 rounds by doing absolutely nothing.

Lyoto Machida - Goes out and gets utterly demolished, grade A asswhupping, all-time animated gif and KO-face fashion, barely lands a strike, looks godawful terrible and makes Machida look like the MMA messiah, come down from heaven to reclaim the throne and ride off into the sunset.

Thiago Silva - Lay and pray for 2 rounds over a not-very-good top 15 at best Thiago Silva then gets rocked twice and nearly finished by a guy coming off back surgery and gassed trying to finish him.

Quinton Jackson - Looked pretty good against BA Baracus, fresh off the A-team, only missing the mohawk. Mostly showed off his speed over a fat actor whose only legitimate win since 2009 is over Matt Hammill. And again Rashad was nearly finished at the end by Captain Red Carpet.

Tito Ortiz 2 - Kills Tito, a guy only not being cut because of a fluke win, who ends up losing 7 of his last 9, with one of the exceptions being against Rashad himself, who he deserved to beat the first time. Rogerio, the guy Rashad is fighting, finished him much faster and more impressively in Tito's very next fight.

Phil Davis - Probably his best win. Showed 5 round dominance over a highly touted prospect who has looked very good, but shown to be fairly one dimensional and a limited striker at best. Essentially, if Davis can't take you down, he's going to have problems.

Jon Jones - Talks a big game, then gets toyed with and obliterated for 5 rounds by his former teammate and training partner. Bones is out there creating strikes on the fly and smashing Rashad with whatever he feels like, repeatedly. Only doesn't get finished due to late coasting and the conservative Greg Jackson championship gameplan. No shame, really, everyone gets mashed by this dude. However, no points awarded, either.

One could make an argument that of the 3 relevant fighters Rashad has ever fought, he's lost to 2 of them in devastating fashion.

Excellent post. I feel dirty betting on Rashad now.

[Mr. IWS]

reeped and i wont even try and top this one.

+1 impressive

[mike]

i dont like this card for betting at all. probably just gonna live bet them. put 3u on chico camus though. he's faster and probably can get the td and stay on top to win the round.

[SPX]

Thinking I might arb out of that Volkmann bet.

[Thewisemann]

Thinking I might arb out of that Volkmann bet.

Why? He's gonna win.

[SPX]

I dunno. Just a little nervous about it.

Think I might arb it and then do a Volkmann/Rashad parlay instead.

[Thewisemann]

How much did you bet?